Thursday, August 21, 2008

Radical Tele-marketers and my fatal error

Phone rings - we don't recognise the number.
Wife: Hello.... [sighs impatiently] We're on the do not call list, can you take us off your list please?
Hangs up. 3 mins later, the phone rings again.
Wife: Hello. You just called us, take us off your list!
Hangs up. 4 mins later, the phone rings again.
Me: I'll take this one. Hello.
Telemarketer: Hello, this is Daljit from Dish Network, we would like to offer you...
Me: Hang on there sunshine, you've just called us 3 times and we've asked you to take us off your list. Why do you keep calling?
Telemarketer: We can offer an improved television service - who is your current provider?
Me: We're happy with our provider and we're not interested in your offer. We've told you to take us off your list. What's your name? I want to speak to your manager
Telemarketer: There is no manager
Me: What?
Telemarketer: There is no manager here
Me: Then how do I complain about you?

Telemarketer: You can go to the dish network website. But that won't do anything, so what are you going to do?
Me: ...Wh...What?!
Telemarketer: Complaining won't do anything, so what are you going to do?
Me: I don't believe this. Listen, stop calling us! We're not interested.
Telemarketer: We can offer a cheaper service - who is your provider?
Me: Oh my god, he's still trying to sell us stuff! Listen, this isn't a good time so why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back
Telemarketer: Er, I can't do that
Me: Oh, I guess you don't want strange people calling you at your home?
Telemarketer: Yes
Me: Well, now you know how I feel

I hang up and bask in my Seinfeld rip off glory. But more importantly, what is this new strategy by Dish Network? Are they getting their telemarketers to undermine the unsuspecting public to the point of submission? Do they have a handbook that says 'Don't let a little thing like complaints get in the way of trying to sell them our product. They're in America, you're in India - they can't touch you'.

So a few days later, I make a rash judgement which leads to my embarrassment.

Phone rings - we don't recognise the number.
Me: Hello

Me: Helllloooo?
Me: [Sigh] Dammit, it's those guys again. Listen, fuckwit, stop calling us!
Wife: What if it's your parents or something?
Me: Nah, it's not them, the caller ID number wasn't right.
I hang up.
1 minute later, the phone rings.
Me: Hello
Mum: Hello son.
Me: Hi. Er, was that you on the phone before?
Mum: Yes
Me: Did you hear me.
Mum: Yes, I could hear you but you couldn't hear me
Me: Oh. Oops. These telemarketers keep calling us and I thought...oh, never mind.

She found the whole thing funny which was nice for me. But those Dish Network guys should really have to answer for that embarrassment. And trust me, you don't want to have to answer to my mother...